What if

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You exist in a dream of mine. You paralyze the thoughts and figures in my mind.

You watch the car crash and call the ambulance but keep your distance.

I’ve surrounded myself with images of foreign dancers.

They light up my brain when you’re not around. They keep me company and hold me up till you come back. They wipe the dust off my chest and put lipstick on my lips. They dress me up and teach me how to fly. I don’t think they are dancers to be honest with you.

I think they are angels that were sent to take me to another planet. I waited and waited for you but they came, and you didn’t.

I think this started as a dream about you till I started manipulating it and turned it into a lucid thought of you.

I remember lying on a rough beach and I felt the rocks behind my back and head trying to penetrate through me. You sat there staring at me the whole time. Or maybe you didn’t; maybe I wanted you to.

You listened to the nonsense coming out of my mouth. We both existed in that moment of time. “What if we lived in clouds and never had to come down?”You alternated between fingering the rocks under my hair and fingering my skull. I think you were forcing those stupid sentences out of me. “What if everybody could get pregnant by kissing a bird? And what if we died every time we love somebody and then are reborn again to start all over again?”

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