Heroin

p7

“Here is the truth about life”..

I’m letting go of you when I’ve never had you.

I see crystals in your eyes. Two faces looking in opposite directions. Wind blowing in their hair. They met at surfaces of nothingness. I imprinted on you. I used whatever I could to define you as ‘mine’. This is a Vatrina and you are shopping for a new soul; a cheap soul. You seem done and ready to go home when everything was okay. I’m taking one deep breath at a time. I begin to understand what you need and want. I realize that you are a human being. I begin to rationalize the thought. I have lost you.  You scraped the content of my body and soulless self into a dumpster. You left my eyes and face looking at that window. Did you even look back to check and see if I was breathing? I’m containing so much that it makes no sense. I feel broken and crushed. I wish I didn’t like the painful thought of you so much. I wish I hadn’t looked into your eyes the way I did the last time we were together. I wish I didn’t wake up still finishing the last parts of a dream about you every morning. I wish I was someone else who didn’t know you. I want to erase you. I don’t want to leave you behind but you have already walked away.

We stood in opposite directions and you knew what to do and where to go. I’m counting fireflies and collecting them in a jar for a dark night. I’ll leave them on my night stand for now. Everything seems irrelevant. The sound of water as it touches my skin, the dirt inside my socks, and the time as it goes backwards in my mind reminding me of the first time I saw you. Fever for the romantic scenario I wrote for us. Even climbing a mountain will now remind me of you. But I still let the music play.

Listening to Let It Happen – Tame Impala

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