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We create catastrophes within ourselves. We are under water but I can still see light. There is a reason you are on the other side of the bed. They thought it would last for twenty years but then they crashed the car into a tree and it all turned into ashes and dust, black dust everywhere. It filled the emptiness of this bleached white room. You fool, you thought it would last. Stop crawling back to the fire of haunting lust and melancholy. I chased a dream before we woke up. Looking into your mind, I found the signs and the words I wanted to hear.

We are still awake. You are ugly. You are beautiful.

On a different day, against a grey raw wall… A rough surface is behind our backs supporting our hollow skeleton. Who are they to judge this? If only you saw me today! I convince myself that this situation I am in makes me content. I am creating a disaster within myself. I let you in and you left without locking the door behind you. Didn’t you know that they would come in to this room? It was dark and they didn’t understand what they were touching. I’m beating for you. My shadow was dancing but it is time to rest. Leave! The dirt will cover me. The rain will uncover all of this tomorrow. Let the ants eat what they can. Would you have me any other way? It is a cruel life but I exist beneath it all. I’m a revelation of all of this. Tell me where you hid the light. You are shattered into a million pieces. Where do I even start? How am I supposed to fix this? Is it supposed to be this way?

On a Blue day, wake me up and tell me the sun is out. I’ll come to you and play in the wind as if we never crashed our car. And we’ll paint the walls white again. I cannot save you. I could love you if you would let me. I’ll scream from the inner cells of my lungs and release you out into the air if that is what it would take to make you stay.

You are the revelation not I.


2 thoughts on “Ants

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