I have crossed lines to get to where i am today. I have stepped over souls and flies. I haven’t seen sunshine in so long. I’ve touched clouds only to swallow harsh wind heavy with all the sand it carried. I have met the devil and offered him a discount on my life. I’ve lost my self to stories I’ve made up.
I am high on things i want and don’t need. I reached the bottom line of what used to be the secret garden I have planted a long time ago. I dropped a bomb on myself. Nobody knew me and it didn’t matter.
I needed one thing to feel real and to believe in this existence. I wasn’t yours to break. I was going to transcend.. I was supposed to feel alive. I thought I’d live longer and so did she. I would have shutdown to save my energy for some other reason that made more sense and a better memory.
How do i undo this?
The world is swollen. This cigarette is burning fast. A street girl lost her lipstick and it seemed like the end of the world. The sun has set. The trees became black. God will call me. My phone will ring. I’m higher than you have ever thought I could be. Wash away your smile and kick me out till I disappear. I never thought ‘nothing’ could feel this good. Heaven smells so good. I lied when i told you that it didn’t hurt and that i was okay.
Goodnight..
My skin belongs to the kiss of a devil i made friends with. Angels slept on a tree i drew. Whenever they walked, they would walk in straight lines that were only visible to me. They whispered the truth to me while they ate my leftovers.
Nida Alhamzeh 