I have a fear in my eyes from falling deeper. But the water was almost transparent so it did not matter.. You wear your mask backwards so it’s like you’re not wearing one. I’ve been waiting for a story that was real, a story where I can get enough oxygen out of. Your skin tasted like sour wind in the morning from all of the salt in the air. Too long seemed so close. I brought out my paint and brushes today to try and paint. I think I’ve lost it; the urge to do so. I’m losing slowly. I’m sitting here rubbing my knees trying to get a hold of myself but instead I lay down for another day or two.
The edge of a glass drew a soft wet red line across my face. I smile as you wipe it away. “Never trust anything that you can see through!” I didn’t get it at first. I curled up against a swing as it started to get darker. I let you watch me as I sat straight to cover my knees from the cold. He came back with sand between his toes. You could always tell that he’s been running on the beach. The music won’t ever stop even if you turned it off. He was covered with ashes.. He burnt the hut down. “We burnt the house down,” he said. He put his fingers on my face and shut my eyes so I wouldn’t see what was happening. It was all gone. By the time we got off that swing and walked down the beach; it was all gone.
Welcome to this other part of me which I show to no one. Pour the rain down and make space for more light to fall on us. “Are you soaked yet?” I’ll dance my way to heaven on this beach till I lose what is left of my mind. When we are full of sleep and dreams, our eyes look further into the sorrows. What has life done to our old souls? Sing the Angel’s song and they will come down your way, pick you up, and leave you behind.
I’ll keep on remembering the encounters of difficult somewhat; I know that I have caused him to grief over my absence. I know. I saw him burn like a star that fell on earth. And I saw him cool down as I walked into the water to drown. I saw the burn in his eyes as he started to understand how dangerous I was. It was a game and there was no way that I was winning. He kept on counting the stars while waiting for me to come back. He didn’t know that I was no star.