One of these days I’ll stop by and say Hi. I might even bring you a bite to eat. And we can sit down on the sidewalk and talk about how it could have been. It won’t matter that I haven’t seen you in ages. It’ll be just like the old days. It would be us again. Just us. This world has wounded us, turned us over each other, spun our heads in infinite circles. Your ego pierced us. I know that you tried to mend our disclosures and put ice on the bruises but it was too late. A little bit too late. It was already freezing and the river has turned into a large piece of ice. It was no longer safe.
Oh the times that I’ve heard “It is what it is,” I could write a whole book about it. A book with about 200 pages where every page would just have those 3 words repeated over and over and over again.. It is! It just is what it is. In one of the pages I’ll write “You are worth my time and everything will be okay” It might even be written in bold letters so I’d easily find it whenever I needed to read it.
I’m packing light this time. I’ll leave some air in my luggage. I can’t take you but I could take your sadness with me. I’ll act like I’m crossing a river and that I’m not the river itself. I’ll act like being not enough and you not caring didn’t hurt anymore.
Watch me walk away and march down the speeding table. I’ll take the cigarette out of my mouth and shout Good Bye. I’ll wave to you so you know that I’m serious. Because I am. I’ll let you know how it went once I pass over to the other side, once I’m settled and I’m all in. I’ll be myself again and you’ll be saved once and for all.
Photo: Personal Mixed Media Artwork. Titled: Women in Disguise